Second Task

Young Wheels - 2.0

Young drivers are involved in a lot of accidents. An organization of accident victims has recently proposed that the age for getting a driver's license should be raised to 19. A recent research has shown the following staticts: 70% of young drivers goes(gr.-go) to clubs routinely every weekend, 30% of them doesn't(gr.-are not) aware of the affect that alcohol has on their body. 

I think it's not a good solution (this is out of place here, since it is not clear what you are talking about). First of all - In Israel you must serve the country for 3 years in the army (2 for girls) from the age of 18, so you have no time to learn driving because you are too busy protecting your country. You can't serve your country and learn driving at the same time, no doubt.

Furthermore, you can't relay on your parents to transport(ww.-drive) you from place to place until you're 19 years old, you need to be independent. I can also say, that if a young man/woman can serve in the army and take risks and even sometimes kill the enemy, they must be responsible and they are ready to be responsible when it comes to
being careful  when they are driving. 

My alternative for this(מיותר) solution is putting more cops on the road so they will prevent the next accident. As for today, there is no plan of spreading cops on the roads for that purpose, and more awareness to the alcohol affects on young people will(also) help also(מיותר). Furthermore, I suggest that the punishment will be much more intimidating and the government should stop being gentle with (the) punishment.

In conclusion, I hope there will be less accidents and more awareness for youngsters issues(phr.) on the road. There is no doubt that a significant part of the accidents are made(ww.-caused) by drunk, unresponsible(ww.-irresponsible) youngsters.

This is better. Good.
(80)
Daphna